overlyimaginativeterrors:

tips for driving down back roads at night

• check to make sure all of your headlight bulbs are working before you depart from your starting location. not only are broken headlights against the law, you could potentially be blindly stumbling into some dangerous territory. the more area you can see, the better. the last thing you want is to be stuck on their land.
• do not let your eyes linger on the wheat fields. some have reported a sudden drop in temperature in their car. some have spoken of a tugging sensation coming from the fields. some have claimed they saw the devil himself grinning back. you do not want to find out what lurks within the wheat fields.
• if you happen to come across a hitchhiker, check for wounds or anything out of the ordinary on their person. if their eyes reflect your headlights, drive faster. do not stop under any circumstances. do not slow down until you are absolutely sure they cannot catch up to you. they are not human.
• do not slow down or stop to marvel at the cottage in the forest. do not go inside or get out of your car. you will not return unscathed.
• if you see yellow eyes watching you from the corn, continue on. they are just the ravens.
• if you see red eyes watching you from the corn, continue on. they are just the crows.
• if you see green eyes watching you from the corn, get out of there as fast as you possibly can. they will follow you. they will hunt you down.
• objects in your side mirrors indeed seem closer than they look. don’t glance over too often, though. they come nearer with every look.
• the creatures in the woods are rumored to attack pickup trucks more often than any other type of automobile. make sure all of your windows are shut and your truck bed is empty and uncovered if you drive one. you wouldn’t want to ferry one of them home without knowing.
• do not stare at the empty, broken-down cars on the side of the road. they do not welcome the gazes of strangers. it is best if you only say a quick prayer for them and drive on. you do not want to be next.
• the radio may spit out some inaudible blubber occasionally. white noise may come through for a few seconds before reverting back to what you were listening to. just convince yourself you’re driving through a spot with patchy satellite signal. don’t mind what they’re saying through the static. ignorance is bliss.
• some travelers claim they often hear shrieking while they are driving. contrary to popular belief, they do not want to hurt you. they are just playing tricks on you. just don’t slow down. just don’t stop.
• whatever you do, don’t fall asleep. pull into a rest stop, at least. do not fall asleep on the side of the road. you may not wake up again.
• the witching hour does not apply when you’re on the road. they roam after sunset. they are bloodthirsty. stay aware of your surroundings.
• that stain on the grass over there was definitely from a deer. don’t think too much about it.
• right?
• not everything that you can see is real.
• not everything that is real you can see.
• the devil never sleeps. he is out for blood. he is nothing like anything you’ve ever seen before. you have been warned.

(via retroactivebakeries)

allthecanadianpolitics:

quasi-normalcy:

the-great-dictator:

I need Canadians to stop assuming our political system works the same way America’s does. There’s an election this October do some research before then

So help me god if you make Andrew Scheer our Prime Minister

Sounds like I’m going to have to write a 2019 version of my post explaining Canadian politics to Americans (but in reality for Canadians who haven’t taken civics)

Please do. :)

the-german-russian-skinwalker:

the-crimes-of-immoral-gays:

millennial-review:

Somebody add ‘Decent People’.

(via anakinsadwalker)

thatgirlonstage:

did luther ever tell five he lived on the moon for four years before this scene because i. don’t think he did

(via jenny-dreadful)

admiralexclipse:

deathtoamericasmokecrack:

Here’s the deleted post by the way

(via yeah-yeah-beebiss-1)

pseudalopex:

dirtshrines:

the only thing that matters to me rn is GIANT YARN

….just look at that … wow

LORAX??!!???!!!!!???

(via anakinsadwalker)

pissbong:

pissbong:

okay, i got real fucked up last week and ordered a fuck ton of webkinz, which i thought was a mistake, until the first ones arrived and pud decided she absolutely fucking loved them

at first i just put em on her to see what shed do, which was nothing, so i decided to just leave her alone in my room for a bit. when i came back in later, she was doing this and i dead ass started crying

UPDATE: another one came :’^)

(via anakinsadwalker)

terratheterror:

terratheterror:

if you have a twitter and aren’t following this man, you’re a fucking idiot

i stan a fucking KING

(via anakinsadwalker)

cyclideon:

If you’re tempted to condemn the ICE concentration camp attack because of “terrorism,” you’re siding with the state.

(via spectrumcore)

sympathetic-deceit-trash:

captainlordauditor:

charlesoberonn:

charlesoberonn:

charlesoberonn:

Anti-Mom: You shouldn’t not-complain because there’re always people who have it better.

Anti-Mom: It’s okay if you don’t finish your plate because you’re only human and the vast majority of food waste comes from corporations and government organizations throwing it away, and not households.

Anti-Dad: As long as you live under my roof, we will communicate and negotiate the terms and rules together to make it the most pleasant living experience for the both of us.

this…..this is the addams family

That’s because the Addams are a healthy family

(via anakinsadwalker)

haiikyuus:

morbid-fragility:

earthsiqn:

things all girls want to do:

• become medusa

• dance naked around a fire in the woods w other ladies

• eat men

• let their eyes roll back in their head and speak in tongues

• eat men

For the record… I want absolutely none of these things. I am a girl.

(via anakinsadwalker)

dadnerdrants:

lesbianshepard:

lesbianshepard:

reddit drama highlights of the week: a redditor was fired from walmart for leaking an attendance policy. as a result the walmart subreddit is being flooded with union memes

This is also spreading to…other retail workers subs. These are non official spaces, created by Us. Bluntly, IWW could post freely, use it to recruit, and the bosses would be Powerless. So, if you are Also a reddit user of this stripe

SOLIDARITY.

Keep pushing.

(via thetableistryingtoeatme)